The Cost of Being Beautiful

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When’s the last time you were scrolling through your feed on TikTok and you saw a girl
who seemed impossibly gorgeous? Long, wavy blonde hair. Blue eyes. Clear skin. A
perfect body appearing as sculpted rather than born. You keep scrolling, but her image
stays penetrated in your mind. Then, you look into the mirror. Why don’t I look like her?
Suddenly, you are staring at a reflection. Your nose looks too big. Your stomach looks too
soft. Your thighs look too wide. Your skin isn’t clear enough. Somehow, without any words
coming from one’s mouth, you are taught to believe your natural body is a problem that
needs to be fixed. What seems to just be a beauty problem, a self confidence and love

problem, has become a mental health problem.

We live in a world today where everything can be faked or fixed. Where the real natural
isn’t seen as beautiful but ‘ugly’ or ‘undesirable’. Yet, we all collectively compare these
manufactured images to our natural bodies and question why we don’t look the same.
Beauty standards aren’t simply being consumed anymore, but we are constantly

measuring ourselves against these unrealistic standards.

The consequences of comparison, in fact, begin frighteningly young. The other day, I
overheard a group of girls talking about eating ‘too many calories’... forcing them to
believe they had to restrict their meals for the rest of the day. They were in Year 8.
What was coming out of their mouths wasn’t what disturbed me. It was how young they
were to believe their undeveloped bodies needed solving. At an age where they should be
worrying about friendships, which songs to play in the shower and overdue homework,
they were questioning why their bodies didn’t meet expected beauty ‘standards’. This
insecurity didn’t come from the prime suspect of social media, but it has been built upon

ideas we have all been exposed to since childhood.

When I was a little girl, I loved Disney princesses, barbie movies and playing with dolls.
However, I never questioned why 90% of them had tiny waists, long legs, flawless skin and
perfectly proportioned faces. I simply thought they were beautiful. When I look back, I
realise how easily these images became instructions to what beautiful looks like and they

are what you should want to grow up to become.

As we grow up and emerge into teenagers, we don't recall when the dolls disappeared and

emerged into influencers, and now the comparison is constant.

We now carry thousands of images of other people’s perfect looks and bodies in our back
pocket. We see them when we wake up, between our classes, before bed, every time we
are bored and every time we reach for a device. Filters smooth skin, editing reshapes

bodies, poses and lighting changes looks... yet we don’t remember this while staring at
our reflection because we compare these perfect images to our most ordinary ones.

Eventually, the comparison develops into how we see ourselves.

It begins to consume us.

It affects far more than our reflection but becomes avoiding photos, social interactions,
swimming, sports, wearing certain clothes, school. Food is associated with guilt,
nourishment is neglected. The mirror becomes a criticism, and an enemy.
A study by Fashion Round Table shows that 85% of girls have edited their social media
posts by the age of thirteen. While the Ministry of Health’s New Zealand Health Survey
discovered young individuals experience some of the highest levels of psychological
distress. While it doesn't have a single cause, it acts as a reminder that young people's
wellbeing cannot be separated from the environment that they grow up in.
We can't simply tell the younger generation to “love themselves.” While it sounds
comforting, it often becomes another expectation. We don’t have to wake up in the
morning and adore every part of physical appearance. But maybe, we need to stop
treating ourselves as objects that need constant change and fixing.

Beauty standards will continue to change over time. Trends will continue to come and go.
Another “perfect” social media influencer will replace another and the next generation of
young people will be told they aren't enough. However our mental health should not have

to change too.

We need to teach the younger generation that their bodies are allowed to exist without
constant evaluation. That eating is not something to feel guilty about. That taking up space
is not something to be apologised for. That looking different to an idolised influencer or

beautiful girl does not make you less worthy.

Because every individual is beautiful in their own way. Perhaps the most beautiful thing we
can give to the next generation isn't a definition of what they should look like.

It is the freedom to stop looking for one.